LADIES and gentlemen, gather ‘round. We are about to go on a thrilling journey through the enigmatic world of dating, where we will decode the perplexing mysteries of Mr Wrong. We will be your trusty detectives, unveiling the seven red flags that should set off your dating alarm bells. So, grab your magnifying glass and read on to learn more.

The phantom texter

Ever met a guy who’s as elusive as the Loch Ness monster? He vanishes into thin air for days, only to resurface with a vague text like, “Hey, what’s up?” Ladies, if you are dealing with a Phantom Texter, be prepared for a rollercoaster ride of emotions. One day, he is Mr Charming and the next, he is Casper the unfriendly ghost.

The commitment-shoebe

Ah, the commitment phoebe, a species as rare as a unicorn that does not want to be ridden. This guy is allergic to words like “relationship” and “future.” He will dodge any talk of commitment with masterful skill, leaving you wondering if you are dating a Peter Pan who never grew up. Beware – a healthy relationship needs commitment to flourish.

The serial flirt

You are on a date with a guy, and he is charming, funny, and the centre of attention. But wait, he is like this with every girl he meets. If you find yourself in the company of a serial flirt, it is time to recognise that he may just be collecting hearts like they are Pokémon cards. The real question is, do you want to be one of them?

The jealous jester

Ladies, meet the Jealous Jester. He seems sweet at first, but it does not take long for his jealousy to rear its ugly head. He is the guy who questions your every move, your every friend and the very air you breathe. Remember, trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship and a relationship with a jealous jester is like building a castle on quicksand.

The mystery man

Ever feel like you are dating Sherlock Holmes, except without the charm and charisma? The mystery man is all cloak and dagger, keeping his life shrouded in secrecy. He is a closed book and you are not even sure which chapter you are in. A relationship should be an open book where both parties share and grow together, not a mystery novel you cannot decipher.

The selfie king

Prepare for a barrage of selfies, ladies. The selfie king believes the world revolves around his image and he will do whatever it takes to get that perfect shot. While confidence is appealing, an obsession with oneself can be a sign of narcissism. Remember, you want a partner, not a paparazzi subject.

The emotional rollercoaster

Our final red flag is a wild one — the emotional rollercoaster. This guy is a whirlwind of emotions, swinging from ecstatic highs to soul-crushing lows in a matter of minutes. While it is natural to experience emotions, a rollercoaster relationship can leave you feeling dizzy and emotionally drained. You deserve stability and happiness, not a perpetual loop of drama.

So, there you have it, our intrepid adventurers. Seven red flags to spot in a guy. Remember, it is essential to trust your instincts and set your standards high. Do not settle for less than you deserve. Happy dating and may you find your Mr Right amidst the sea of Mr Wrongs.